I have a vivid memory of the first time I performed singing alone in front of a crowd. It was the dress rehearsal of my talent show-I was in the fifth grade. I was so nervous that my mother (who was and is by no means a stage mom) pushed me onto the stage so that I could run through my song. I found that experience terrifying, partially because I remember the auditorium was brightly lit, my classmates and peers were present, and the song I had chosen was in no way, a trendy piece of music. Nonetheless, thanks to a little push (quite literally) from my mother, I sang with clenched fists but got through it.
One of my favorite ways to reframe fear is–if you’re afraid to do something, allow the fear to become your companion. Our culture tends to demonize fear and we assume that in order to do something, fear must be eradicated. This theme can be applied to so many facets of our lives. Perhaps if we knew why fear shows up, we can better understand its use and viability.
To avoid getting text-booky, though, my writing has not leveled to that bar of professionalism–fear has, as long as the human species existed, been used as a survival tool. You are alive today because your ancestors properly used their fear to avoid getting eaten by wild animals, gather proper foods to avoid poisoning, and set up shelter in a safe environment.
So how does anxiety come into play? Anxiety exists on the heels of fear: we perceive fear that typically, is not tangible. And while that fear may not be something as clear as a bear looking at you face to face in a forest, it can still feel real and visceral. Many of us, as a response to the perception of fear, beat ourselves up for experiencing anxiety symptoms. What would happen if you allowed the fear to take a seat ever so gently beside you. When I’ve reflected on things I’ve accomplished in the past, I feel okay with myself because I know that fear has typically been a part of my own process. Be it giving birth or writing this blog, I’m working alongside my fear not in the absence of it. The secondary part of fear: be it of failure, rejection, or judgment (aka the holy fear trinity) is what we can work more on letting go of.
Fear can be a gentle reminder that you are a living, breathing being. Tune into what the fear may be, name it. And reflect on whether that threatens your life or threatens your ability to do cool and brave things.
I hope you can take stock of the things you’ve done with fear. And more importantly, how you can allow the fear to work by your side more as a friend than foe.
